..Dancin where the evening fell..

a little too late, a little too wrong...and i can't wait

Mon, 07 Aug 2006 16:54:28 GMT

i had the best dream last night.
it felt soo real, and soo possible
even tho there were concequenes,
and the judgments of everyone..
it was perfect. I was happy.
everything had fallen into place.

but i eventually woke up..
came back to what my life is
and the reality of regret.

i feel soo empty and out of love

i was in the car last night and kept asking myself "what makes someone happy?" "how do you really know you're happy?" and if i keep doubting my happiness does that mean i'm not? what makes a person complete? why is it that something always seems to be missing from my life? and if the time comes.. whenever it is.. will i be able to tell what love is and feels like? What if I've passed the opportunity to love again? I'm always afraid that I've thrown it away, and doubted someone that could be amazing. I'm soo scared to give into any feelings. I never give myself the chance to feel anything but defeat.

i'm scared to care about anyone
i'm scared to fall
i'm scared to get hurt
i'm scared i'll hurt them..
thats all i've done because i've been trying to protect myself

i mess with peoples heads
because mine isn't clear

its gona take a lot to hold on.. its gonna be a long way to happy

Thu, 03 Aug 2006 14:38:07 GMT

I'm on the outside, looking in
What do I see?
So much of this left to begin
Where would I be?
I'm on the outside, looking in
Cover me through this night

Guess I don't know what's, left to say
But hear me out
All of the dreams of, yesterday
Keep breaking me down
What's on the outside, can you say
Or am I getting carried away

It's in your mind
It's in your eyes
So it's goodbye again
It's way past time
For one last try
So it's goodbye again
Goodbye... again

I'm getting on, what's the use
You know how I get
I can't decide which is the truth
At least not yet
I got the feeling, it's you
What can be said, alone in this room
No...

It's in your mind
It's in your eyes
So it's goodbye again
It's way past time
For one last try

Who wants you now?
Maybe somebody else
I'll wait around
Maybe you'll forget you were ever here
Maybe forget you were ever, never here

I'm on the outside, looking down
What do I see?
So much of this cold, in the ground
Where would i be?
On the outside, looking down
Cover me before you go

It's in your mind
It's in your eyes
So it's goodbye again
It's way past time
For one last try
So it's goodbye again

Your falling out,
I'm falling in
So it's goodbye again
It's way past time
For one last try
So it's goodbye... again
So it's goodbye again

happy birthday Kenya..
you knew this was going to happen...
3 years in a row..

were you weak, was i strong? both of us broken, caught in a moment

Tue, 01 Aug 2006 20:51:24 GMT

everyone makes mistakes. We all make bad decisions
We all lie. Whether to protect ourselves,
or to protect someone we care about.
Either way.. I lie is told at some point or another.
Some lies just hurt more than others.
And some people have a lot to hide.

the past is not irrelevant.
it shapes who you are now.
the past is in the past..
but is always brought to the present.
the present hurts because of the past.
the past doesn't go away.
it is permanent, and there is no changing it.
but you can learn to accept it for what it is and was.

i believe forgiveness is an attribute.
it takes a strong person to forgive people who hurt needlessly
it takes an even stronger person to forgive someone who isn't sorry and doesn't regret.

Just because you believe you're being a good friend..
doesn't mean its going to be perceived that way.
Just because you had good intentions
doesn't mean someone else did.

Sometimes you do whatever someone tells to you..
so they won't hurt anymore.
Just so they'll be okay with you again
Just to make sure they won't hate you.
And after all that.. they do in the end

Life has a funny way..
of going everywhere unexpected and unplanned.
Life has a way of breaking your heart
countless time.. with no remorse

I wonder if everything that happens to us
is really supposed to make us stronger.
I wonder if everything really is a lesson
or a cruel joke to inflict pain

I wonder how many memories
we're supposed to look back and laugh at.
Which moments are supposed to be looked back on?
There are always more bad memories
than good that are rememberd.
There are more times where we are ashamed
rather than proud.

I think too much. its an illness
my 18th birthday is in 10 days
& I love coctails and bacardi
I love people who love me back
I love not pretending around people.
and having them laugh, appreciate
& simply accepting that.

i'm only pretty sure.. i can't take anymore

Mon, 31 Jul 2006 09:36:16 GMT

why does everything go wrong in my life
when i'm feeling soo good.

why did i have to be the one crying
after feeling soo great

i haven't gotten a break in a long time.
why can't i just be happy??
why can't my life just be easy for once?
why do I constantly have to get hurt?
why does my heart keep breaking?
when is it finally going to be enough?

I wondered why it was i can't put myself in a relationship,
and why i don't trust.. and i got those answers.

when am i gonna start looking through people, and stop looking for the good in them.
when can i finally realize that people don't mean well.
when will I realize that its all been about revenge and figuring out the perfect way to hurt me.

i'm sooo tired of being lied to.
i made mistakes.. i admit them. i'm sorry for them
but why do you keep making me cry??? why do you want me still hurting????

you begin to wonder why you came..

Fri, 28 Jul 2006 17:51:44 GMT

"Heaven forbid you end up alone, and don't know why.
Hold on tight, wait for tomorrow. You'll be alright"

last night was fun. I had the most amazing conversations with John, Matt, and Justin.
Justin was mostly quiet. but thats okay. Being overly emmotional isn't what everyone wants to do.
The conversation lasted until 4 in the morning. It was soo refreshing to get everything out and know i'm not alone

We talked about soo much. We talked about our childhood, growing up, high school, unforgettable moments. We talked about politics, religion, beliefs, standards. We talked and made comments about past relationships, the want and need for a relationship now. We talked about the future. What we hope for, what we expect, what we want. We talked about marriage, and having kids. We talked about making commitments and making the right decisions and having the faith that you're making the right decisions. We talked about our hopes & wishes & what we fear. We talked about our mistakes, and how we learned from it. We talked about how we realize what regret is. What we should regret, and what we learned not to do again. We talked about what isn't regret, but when realize what you did or a person wasn't right. We talked about the difference of being close to someone opposed to being sexual with someone. We talked about how much more important it is and special it is when you share that with someone you love, and how it changes everything in your relationship afterwards. We talked about that last moment of being a child, and becoming an adult. We talked about our priorities. And we talked about the importance of staying close and remembering everyone that has ever been there for you. We talked about death. We talked about the hurt of having to go thru that, having someone leave, and having to watch everyone that loved that person at their weakest moments. We talked about how fast life goes by, and what milestones we have to look forward to.

Last night was pleasing. I cried. It was an okay cry. I didn't hurt.
I cried because everything we talked about.. I've been hiding for soo long.
I haven't been soo open with anyone in a long time. It felt soo good to let my gaurd down.
No one.. for a long time.. has called me out of my feelings, or just wanted to sit and listen to what i've been thru, what my opinions are, and how I'm feeling. I'm soo glad I got to do that with the boys I care about. They make days soo much better.

But earlier I went out with Joy. we got pedicures, went shopping, and got chipotle for dinner. and then saw "Little Man" with the boys & Kelly. I had a really good night. I'm soo glad I have those moments. I hate taking them for granted.

sometimes I wonder if I'm really happy. and what makes me happy. I wonder if i'm truly happy with who i am.
I've had this weird feeling lately.. that I'm okay. When certain things are brought up or shoved in my face.. I'm not hurt anymore. It still hurts, but i'm not feeling that lonely, never ending emptiness. I'm almost okay with everything i was put thru, everything that was said to me, and everything I was lied to about. I get mad, and defensive.. I hate who I was.. and how I let people use me and walk all over me.. because I cared too much about them and not about myself. I'm alright with the past.. I've finally accepted it for what it was, and realized I can't change it. I've given up the "what ifs" and realized that everything that has happened, and that I have done.. was for a reason. I'm glad I'm okay with that. I'm glad I found that...

I'm all out of love..

Thu, 20 Jul 2006 21:26:20 GMT

Nothin to do...
I finished babysitting.
I need a haircut..maybe just a trim
and to lose weight. but I can't work out for a month.
I already tried.. and I can feel the pain now. I hate mono

I can't tell if my parents are being nicer..
ot just avoiding me

I hate when things take my by surprise.
it makes me feel frantic & scared
sometimes I cry when I'm scared.
not at like scary movies--i hate those--
but cry.. when the unexpected comes up,
and when I don't know what to do,
or what is going to happen, or how to plan the future out.
when I don't know what to expect.

mkay.. i think i'm gonna go hang out with the boys.
they always cheer me up =)

**yay for my 18th on the 11th and goin to the beach on the 4th with the girls
maybe melissa and I will go visit the boys in OC this weekend...

Mon, 17 Jul 2006 04:45:17 GMT

I know this will all come out immature. but I'm okay with that...

I refuse to forgive my parents for the double standard they have put on me my entire life. I refuse to forgive them for the hurtful things they've said to me. I refuse to forgive them for the physical abuse and emotional abuse they put me through. I refuse to forgive them for the stupid comments they say to me. I refuse to forgive them for their lack of understanding. I refuse to forgive my parents because of their need to judge. I refuse to forgive them because of their ignorance. I refuse to forgive them for their lack or support. I refuse to forgive them because they were soo blind for soo long. I refuse to forgive them because they didn't want to help when I fell. I refuse to forgive them because they have never accepted who I was. I refuse to forgive them because they have never been proud of me. I refuse to forgive them because they are never happy for me. I refuse to forgive them because they constantly look at me as a failure. I refuse to forgive my parents because they've told me I'm a fuck up. I refuse to forgive my parents because I'm always their disappointment. I refuse to forgive my parents because they always forget about me. I refuse to forgive my parents because I'm always one of their last priorities. I refuse to forgive my parents because they constantly accuse me of being jealous. I refuse to forgive my parents because they treat me like a child. I refuse to forgive my parents because they always tell me I'm selfish. I refuse to forgive my parents because they tell me all I care about is myself. I refuse to forgive them because they see me cry and only make it worse. I refuse to forgive them because they never taught me to be stronger. I refuse to forgive them because they taught me to be the doormat that everyone uses. I refuse to forgive them because they made me forgive, and forget when people hurt me. I refuse to forgive them because they refuse to forgive me when I mess up. I refuse to forgive them because they always hold my problems over my head. I refuse to forgive them because they constantly break promises. I refuse to forgive them because they can't accept I'm not always strong enough to deal with things on my own. I refuse to forgive them for making me feel inferior. I refuse to forgive them for making me think that i'm worthless. I refuse to forgive them for making me feel like no one loves, or cares for me.
I know i'm being horribly insensitive and childish ((and contradicting)) by trying to put all the blame on my parents for being the way I am. But they have been trying for most of my life to mold me into what they want, and because i don't meet their expectations.. i'm not acceptable. I'm constantly being compared to other people.. and that has been one of the biggest ways to hurt me. Not only by them.. but by the people I respect and loved.

But on a better note. I'm feeling better. my mono doesn't have me as tired.
I've ben hanging out with the boys a lot more. it makes me feel better.
I hate most girls and all drama.. i'm glad I got away from it. and atleast hang out with girls that don't fight over petty shit

So yeah.. saw "you, me, and dupree" tonight with the group. that was fun. the movie wasn't that great tho. The commericials made it seem funnier than it actually was. but it did have good parts.

And I've decided I'm gonna go to the club on the day or my birthday with melissa and yana.
and I'm officially legal in 27 days =) yay for that. Not that its going to make any significant difference.. but just the thought makes me happy.
Alright.. I vented. I think I'm done.

i'm just the type to reminisce & dwell in the past

Sat, 15 Jul 2006 16:09:15 GMT

"When you finally get over someone you find a special place in your heart to keep them, no matter what happened in the past. You'll always think of them and smile even if you don't have the best memories. You'll sort of forget certain incidents that made you feel so bad and you won't hurt anymore, but you'll still remember the way it felt when you were hurting. When you really are over someone, there will be no regret.. "

**she reminds me of me.. a long time ago. that person I used to be seems so unfamilar. Thank god for that.
I'm so thankful that I grew up and I see things for how they are. I'm soo thankful that I can appreciate the people around me that treat me right, and I have enough sense to push away the people that don't. I'm so thankful that I respect myself. I'm thankful that I know someone will respect me. I'm thankful that I know I will love someone again. I'm thankful to know that in my future someone will love me unconditionally. I'm soo thankful that i'm able to live my life right now. I'm so thankful that I have a support system. I'm thankful for the true friends I have. I'm thankful that no matter what we go thru, no matter how long we don't talk, or fight.. if i call them crying, they'll listen. I'm soo thankful that I realized he wasn't my life. I'm soo thankful that I realized it wasn't all my fault. I'm soo thankful I realized people make mistakes, and most deserve to be forgiven. I'm soo thankful that I realized I need to forgive myself before I was truly happy. I'm soo thankful that I learned to except that people change. I'm soo thankful that I know all that I do now. I'm soo thankful that I didn't give up. I'm soo thankful that I taught myself not to depend on him. I'm soo thankful I moved on. I'm soo thankful that he moved on. I'm soo thankful that he found happiness. I'm soo thankful I don't have to deal with the wrath of his anger and words. I'm soo thankful we left things where they were. I'm soo thankful I found my closure. I'm soo thankful that I can smile again. I'm soo thankful for the hell I was put thru, because i'm strong and reasonable today.

I'm soo sad I lost that amazing person that used to be my best friend. I'm sad that he changed. I'm sad that we couldn't manage to get over our past and become friends again. I'm sad that I kept those memories of us. I'm sad that when I hear "our song" my heart still stops. I'm sad that I haven't been able to find someone so overwhelmingly perfect. I'm sad that I have soo many expectations. I'm sad that I have standards. I'm sad that I see right thru people. I'm sad that it took me so long to realize i didn't need him. I'm sad it took me soo long to forgive myself. i'm soo sad it took so long to get over him. I'm sad that it took me even longer to get over the hurt and painful words that were said. I'm sad that when those distant memories come to my head, I smile. I'm sad that sometimes I wish I could take things back. I'm sad that sometimes I wish I could take back time. I'm sad that sometimes I wish he could call just to talk. I'm sad that he disrespected me. I'm sad that I cry when I think of all the pain I felt. I'm sad that no one warned me that losing your first love is one of the hardest things you go thru. I'm sad it took me soo long to stop lying. I'm sad it took me soo long to stop hurting him. I'm sad for doubting love. I'm sad for questioning what we had. I'm said that I denied us being in love, I gave all my heart, what we felt at the time was true. I'm sad that I get that little feeling everytime I think of not ever speaking to him for the rest of my life. I'm sad things were soo bad. I'm soo sad I wasted soo much time not living. I'm soo sad I put my life on hold. I'm soo sad I took him for granted. I'm soo sad I took people for granted. I'm soo sad that I took life for granted. I'm sad that I still take life for granted. I'm soo sad I lost my smile. I'm soo sad I forgot what happiness was for a brief time. I'm soo sad I lived soo recklessly only to crash and burn.

"what doesn't kill you only makes you stronger" words I used to hate. and now for the most part appreciate, and understand. I hated how no one understood what I felt. I hated that everyone judged, not know the circumstances. I hate how no one knew what was really going on. and I hate how when I opened up.. they went running to him, letting him know what I said. that was utter bullshit. that was a complete lack of respect. I don't know why and how I learned to look past and forgive the people who did that. Sometimes I wonder why the hell I forgive, why I do find the best in people and hold onto that, thinking that everyone has good in them. But then forget the part that not everyone had good intentions. not everyone wants to see you happy. not everyone wants you to be okay. Growing up, is by far the hardest thing. teaching yourself and learning what people's intentions are is soo difficult. Remembering all the advice people have given you, and trying to go by what is right and what your heart tells you at the same time is soo frustrating. Life is discouraging at times.. its soo hard to remember that everything happens for a reason.

mmkay. I feel better. I don't care who takes the time to read this. or what you think afterwards. I will use this when I want to. I will write what I want to, and not care what you have to say.
Kudos to those who did actually read this and understand I'm just letting things out. and a special go fuck yourself to the bitches who judge =)

life throws you curves..

Fri, 14 Jul 2006 19:03:26 GMT

I haven't written in this thing in forever. so much has changed since the last time I did. I've changed so much since I lost wrote. too much to explain. But I'm for the most part happy where my life is right now. I'm alone ((relationship wise)). and I've accepted it. I'm okay with the person I have come to grow to be. My mistakes, regrets, and heartaches have made me realize that everything happens for a reason. and even tho i'm not happy at the moment I will be. I don't regret times I was having a good time, even if that one moment meant doing something stupid.

learned & forgot over time:
friends are only as true as they want to be
people will always talk
you can only grow if you learn from it & never do it again
people will use you--as long as you let them
people change.
sometimes for good and sometimes bad but change is inevitable

mmkay. thats it for now. maybe i'll update later.

edit:
utah in exactly a month.
my 18th birthday on the 11th =)

You can’t break away what you cannot change

Fri, 25 Nov 2005 15:24:01 GMT

You say we’re just friends
We're playing pretend to keep me here

I won't write a note
That's a coward's way out
I won't bring it up
There's nothing left to talk about
He'll just tell me that love is never perfect
He's so convincing but i've already heard it

I won't draw it out
I won't stop to cry
He may be caught off guard
But he won't be surprised
This is where i usually let him
Change my mind
This time i'm letting go
But i won't say goodbye

He knows where i'm weak
And what i can't resist
And how to make me second guess
Conviction like this
So i'll just go on and
Skip to the healing
He won't hear me say it
But he'll know what i was feeling

He'd ask me where i'm headed
But i don't know where i'm going
He'd ask if i still love him
But that's not the point

18... so many things can come from just one day...

Sat, 19 Nov 2005 04:50:05 GMT

I turned around 3 times and wound up at your door

And someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough

I got your love letters
I threw them all away
And I hear you think that I'm crazy
I'm driving 95
And I'm driving you away
And I shine a little more lately

Someday love will find me in the rough
Someday love will finally be enough

there's no tears, cause he's not here

Mon, 14 Nov 2005 19:54:47 GMT

you woke up, in pieces
from making these changes
and holding me ransom, won't write you an anthem
on the outside, i'm trying, 'cause inside, i'm dying

this broken heart was stronger than
now i can't stand to part with this
this broken heart

you took me for granted
now i've changed, you haven't
it won't be so easy to sell me this feeling

this broken heart was stronger than
the words i wish you never meant
this broken heart

can't make this right, you see on my face,
that i'm not gonna be alright, not tonight,
you can read all my letters, but that won't mean things are fine,
not this time, 'cause you gave away all the secrets of you and i

this broken heart was stronger than
now i can't stand to part with this
this broken heart was stronger than
the words i wish you never meant
this broken heart

and all I've known from you has been a lie..

Sun, 06 Nov 2005 03:43:50 GMT

fuck it..

love never fuckin existed..

But we both know we'll just have to face it...

Tue, 01 Nov 2005 15:24:18 GMT

Just let it die
With no goodbyes
Details don't matter
We both paid the price
Tears in my eyes
You know sometimes
It'd be like that baby

Now everytime I see you
I pretend I'm fine
When I wanna reach out to you
But I turn and I walk and I let it ride
Baby I must confess
We were bigger than anything
Remember us at our best
And don't forget about

Late nights, playin' in the dark
And wakin' up inside my arms
Boy, you'll always be in my heart and
I can see it in your eyes
You still want it
So don't forget about us

I'm just speaking from experience
Nothing can compare to your first true love
So I hope this will remind you
When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us

There's only one me and you
And how we used to shine
No matter what you go through
We are one, that's a fact
That you can't deny
So baby we just can't let
The fire pass us by
Forever we'd both regret
So don't forget about

When it's for real, it's forever
So don't forget about us.

Try to understand there's an old mistake that fools will make And I'm the king of them

Wed, 26 Oct 2005 02:03:42 GMT

I'm missing your laugh
How did it break?
And when did your eyes begin to look fake?

Please tell me you're just feeling tired
cause if it's more than that I feel that I might break
out of touch, out of time.
Please send me anything but signals that are mixed
cause I can't read your rolling eyes
out of touch, are we out of time?

I'll wait until tomorrow
maybe you'll feel better then
maybe we'll be better then
so what's another day
when I can't bear these nights of thoughts
of going on without you
this mood of yours is temporary
it seems worth the wait
to see your smile again
out of the corner of my eye
won't be the only way you're looking at me then.

1 1/2

shot me down as I flew by.. crash and burn...

Wed, 19 Oct 2005 00:09:10 GMT

Answer no to these questions
Let her go, learn a lesson
It's not me, you're not listening now
Can't you see something's missing?
You forget where the heart is

Take you away from that empty apartment
You stay and forget where the heart is
Someday if ever you love me you'd say it's okay

Waking up from this nightmare
How's your life, what's it like there?
Is it all what you want it to be?
Does it hurt when you think about me?
And how broken my heart is

It's okay to be angry and never let go
It only gets harder the more that you know
When you get lonely if no one's around
You know that I'll catch you when you're falling down
We came together but you left alone
And I know how it feels to walk out on your own
Maybe someday I will see you again
And you'll look me in my eyes and call me your friend

8//13

Wed, 12 Oct 2005 02:09:12 GMT

There's something wrong with me.
I'm soo emotional tonight.

= / blah. I hate being this way
It feels like everyone is taking stabs at me

Thu, 06 Oct 2005 02:14:16 GMT

I said I wasn't going to cry today...

Sometimes
I feel I've got to run away
I've got to get away
From the pain
You drove into the heart of me
The love we share
Seems to go nowhere
I think I've lost my light
For I toss and turn
I can't sleep at night

Once I ran to you
Now I run from you
This tainted love you've given
Give you all a girl could give you
Take my tears
And thats not nearly all

Tainted love

17...

Sun, 25 Sep 2005 23:08:42 GMT

Suddenly I'm all alone
Pushed away for nothing wrong
Don't you have the guts to say
How you feel about me

Out of the blue
You said we couldn't be together
I have to get over you
Given no choice, have no voice
Out of the blue

Feel like a doll left on a shelf... will someone take you down?

Sat, 24 Sep 2005 13:16:06 GMT

I am moving through the crowd
Trying to find myself
Feel like a guitar that's never played
Will someone strum away?

Your life plays out on the shadows of the wall
You turn the light on to erase it all
You wonder what it's like to not feel worthless

It's always me that's reaching out for your hand

Wed, 21 Sep 2005 19:40:31 GMT

I'm gettin' kinda close to you
Like a shadow I can't lose
You've been hanging with me everyday
Now your getting in my way

I know you understand me
But don't you think that maybe
It's time to move on

What's up lonely
Seems your my only friend who wants to share my pain
Tell me heartache
What it gonna take
For you to leave me alone today

Just when I think that your gone
Your in the mirror looking back at me

So whats up lonely

Sometimes, i wish you weren't by my side,
can't you find another shoulder cause i
i wanna leave this broken heart behind,
we're both waistin to much time

Find someone else to rain on,
i'm really gettin tired of singin this sad song

don't wanna give you a reason, to hang around anymore
you won't be hurtin my feelins
if you find another broken heart you can lean on

Did u forget the magic. Did u forget the passion. Did u ever miss me. Ever long to kiss me??

Sun, 18 Sep 2005 23:39:26 GMT

You never looked so good
As you did last night
Underneath those city lights
There walking with your friend
Laughing at the moon
I swear you looked right through me
But i'm still living with your goodbye
And you're just going on with your life

How can you just walk on by
Without one tear in your eye
Don't you have the slightest feelings left for me
Maybe that's just your way
Of dealing with the pain
Forgetting everything between our rise and fall
Like we never loved at all

You, i hear you're doing fine
Seems like you're doing well
As far as i can tell
Time is leaving us behind
Another week has passed
And still i haven't laughed yet
So tell me what your secret is
To letting go like you did, like you did

Did you forget the magic
Did you forget the passion
Did you ever miss me
Ever long to kiss me

I lose my way&its not 2 long b4 u point it out. I cannot cry because I kno thats weakness in ur eyes

Sun, 11 Sep 2005 20:57:20 GMT

"There are times it seems to me
I'm sharing you with memories
Then there's times you look at me
As though I'm all that you could see...
You know I'd fight for you,
but how can I fight for someone who isn't even there?"

Sat, 10 Sep 2005 22:47:05 GMT

And even though the moment passed me by
I still can't turn away
Cause all the dreams you never thought you'd lose
Got tossed along the way
And letters that you never meant to send
Get lost or thrown away

Scars are souvenirs you never lose
The past is never far
Did you lose yourself somewhere out there
Did you get to be a star
And don't it make you sad to know that life
Is more than who we are

You grew up way too fast
And now there's nothing to believe
And reruns all become our history
A tired song keeps playing on a tired radio
And I won't tell no one your name
And I won't tell em your name

I think about you all the time
But I don't need the same
It's lonely where you are come back down
And I won't tell em your name

OP won our first game of the season =) Hopefully it stays that way!!!
Went out with some of the girls after school to make our t shirts and they look soo awfully cute.
This week has been long but short. I can't believe we're back in school already.. kinda sad that this is our last year in high school.
I have no clue how I'm gonna be okay with work and school and getting all my homework done.. but I'll find a way...

I guess thats all for now.. I'll update sometime this week...

You can't wear white after labor day =/ goodbye summer.. I'll miss you &&ur fun..

Mon, 05 Sep 2005 21:11:45 GMT

Shoot me.. school starts tomorrow =(
But its our last year.. Seniors '06 =)

I want fall to come = / yay for cute winter clothes.
And yay for my parents feeling guilty I spent all my money, so they spent theirs =)

This year is going to be good.. I hope. I'm trying my hardest with my grades, friends, and work. I'm gonna make this year work for me. There will always be drama ofcourse.. but its what gives entertainment to the wasted day. I can't wait for it. As long as it doesn't involve me. I'm scared to see what this year's outcome will be. What good will happen, and what heartache will come from it.

This year will be good.. and I'll take it one step at a time.

*you know how to make me smile*<3 Doors